Good times in Shanghai

To get to Shanghai from Beijing is easy.... sort of.

Liz and I left at 6am on Saturday morning, bound for the Beijing Capital Airport to board our 8am flight to Shanghai. As the responsible one, I made the travel arrangements (yeah right like I'd trust her with tickets to anything again!), plane, hotel and itinerary (thanks Sumita and Scott!). As we were driving along in the cab at 6:09 am I was looking at the tickets and noticed that they neither specified a terminal nor an airline name. WOW! Oh well, I called the ticket vendor and sorted it out. But honestly China, why wouldn't you print out the name of the airline when you issue an e-ticket....really!

And then there was the airport....the Chinese are all sorts of freaked out right now about the Olympics. Not only do they fear actual terrorism, but they fear that other nations fear they don't fear the fear... follow me? This of course makes them very paranoid. So the result is an airport in complete disarray with all sorts of added security measures that at the end of the day amount to nothing but a nuisance. You thought JFK was bad....hahahaha. At the airport they dumped out my carry on and had to clear m y USB memory stick with their manager before allowing me to pass. Let's see, it's neither sharp or a liquid....what gives?!?! Eventually though, after much turmoil we did board the plane on time and in a civilized manner. Chinese airlines are interesting. They are efficient because they don't give a damn if everyone is on or not and they feed you constantly! I have no idea what that thing I ate was, but hell it was free so I had two!

I was told that the hotel I reserved was at the "Bund", a touristy area in Shanghai. Cute, so cute. It was relatively near the Bund, but no....no, no, no it was not in the Bund. Actually it was next to this place, have a look :)

At least the neighbors were nice.

Despite the inconvenient location of the hotel and their rude staff, we had a great time in Shanghai. It is a city completely unlike Beijing. Where in Beijing you will see something out of the ordinary and unexpected at every city block, in Shanghai you get sort of a European reminiscent nostalgia coupled with bizarre Chinese behavior and practices. Regardless they are both worthwhile places to visit. Clearly my favorite aspect of Shanghai is it's contemporary sky line. While the old European buildings are lovely, intricate and nice to look at, the skyline across the river is a different sort of marvel. It is home to the world's 2nd and 3rd tallest buildings in the WORLD! See.....pretty :)
We walked all day Sunday seeing as much touristy stuff as we could, according to various guides. Here are some pictures.....

My happy place! Obviously.
Fruit on a stick is brilliant! Oh and costs roughly $0.16 Thanks China!

The Chinese are so concerned with their progress and stature in the world that they have an unusual obsession with architecture, I suppose because it is an obvious testimony to their wealth and success. At any rate, here I am at the Shanghai Urban Planning Museum in aw of how ridiculously big their city model is. Seriously China, you have crazy poverty and human rights issues and yet you find time to build something like this just for show....Impressive!

Awwww look at me getting along with the locals. I was enamored with this little boy because his outfit was so ridiculous. See below.
Seriously, the kid is wearing an apron, and check out his do!
Speaking of cute kids....
Well, not everyone can be so cute I guess.
There's Liz lookin' like a local. To shied their eyes from the sun and street debris, the Chinese wear visors. It is also a hand way to ensure they absolutely do not tan. Wouldn't want to look like a peasant!!
Oh China...a place of such enthusiasm
View from the bar in the Gin Mao tower.
Probably the best thing we did was take a boat tour of the architecture along the river. The info was bland, but the weather was great.
Swell, just swell.

Crazy Tea Pouring Chinese Fools! (in a good way)

Take a look at this, you'll love it!

China......strange and intriguing

Jiadong...err I mean James, like "Bond...James Bond" and me at the Tea House

Last Friday Jiadong took Liz and I to the most famous tea house in Beijing. Naively I expected a large menu with tea and some funky music in a dark room with small tables and foot stools with pillows. Ya know? At any rate, I was waaaaaay off. Not only did I get Chinese tea, I got delicious Chinese pastries and 8 classic Chinese performances. There was a stage at the front with shows ranging from traditional folk music to Shadow puppeteers, and kung fu to crazy tea pouring guys who treat tea pots like swords....very interesting. I tell ya what, as great as the Opera, Kung Fu and dancer chicks were, NOTHING and I mean nothing, compared to the crazy Chinese precision tea pourers. They mean business with that tea. Not only did they whip the giant tea kettles with 4 foot long spouts around like it's easy, twisting, turn and contorting the kettle around their bodies, but they also poured the tea onto each others kettles and even onto the head of their lovely tea lady assistant. So weird and so impressive! At any rate, the show went on for roughly 2 hours. It was well worth the 180RMB! (or roughly $23) As homesick as I get from time to time, it's seeing bizarre stuff like that, that makes this experience well worth it and unforgettable. Oh sure sure work is great, bla bla bla but what could be more interesting than this?

Happy Monkey from the Opera....actually it's a naughty Monkey that stole wine from the Emperor. It's fine though, the Monkey totally gets away with it!
Words just can't describe. When they say "a picture is worth 1000 words" this is EXACTLY what they meant! True story.....

One word is all you need

I heard it said that "the" is the most common word in the world. Yeah that may be true, but let's be honest it's really not all that helpful. Having lived in two foreign countries and still only able to speak English, I can say confidently that the most helpful word in the WORLD (translated that is)... the first word you should learn when you move to a country with a foreign tongue, no matter how weird and no matter how long or short is may be translated, is the word "this." Think about what you can do with the word "this"... you can point!! Point at food, point a direction, point at a map, the list is endless. Just the other day, I pointed at a bug bite in the grocery store (the mosquitoes out here are NASTY) and the lady showed me where the bug repellent is shelved. I know I know, you're thinking "Anne why didn't you just go look for it?" People, nothing is written in English, were I to trust my own intuition to buy a bottle of bug spray, I'd end up with hair removal or some weird perfume. Can you stand it? Do you love it! Once you master "this" only then are you ready to move on to such advanced words as "Thank you", "correct", "good", "hello" and "goodbye".

ZHEIGE is my saving grace. That is pronounced jayga. Simply amazing!

And just for kicks, here are some examples of Chinese translations gone awry :)

Really?

Astounding!

Actually Chinese Hamburgers do exist. It's called "hanbaobao" and it's DELICIOUS!

My morning commute...viva bicycles!!

The following is a video of my morning commute in Beijing. I don't bike THAT fast, so if you want to fast forward through parts, that's fine. In fact, it could make it funnier. Yes it is as ridiculous as it seems but keep in mind it's also WAY MORE FUN than it looks. Honestly, so great!

At any rate, I hope you get a kick out of this :)

The Great Steep Overgrown Wall of China!

Yup.... there I am, there it is....good times had by all!

So I was sitting at the pub a couple weeks ago drinking a lukewarm almost non-alcoholic Chinese fatty beer, when I looked up and saw a sign that read "Camping on the Great Wall"... first of all, I'm not a chick that likes to camp. But hey, for a fee, these people would move me, feed me and guide me along a decent chunk of the Great Wall of China. More than decent actually, a recently renovated not touristy section. Hmmmmm could be worth the camping part! At any rate, my friend Liz and I decided to do it, as clearly we are too lazy and too mandarin deficient to organize it ourselves. So we showed up at the meeting place (note the meeting place: Nan Jie BAR...hahaha that's how you know you're in good company!), met the tour guide and other campers and away we went. I should mention too, quite randomly, there was a producer who was shooting the entire trip for a short 5 minute film to appear on Current TV later this summer. He requested we sign waivers and appreciate. Now, with an ego like mine, I just couldn't help but participate. Besides, the camera was always in our face, how were any of us going to refuse. So we piled in the van and hit the road :)
Perhaps the most hilarious thing about this little jaunt was the unexpected work out we got from the very first step we took towards the wall. We literally rolled up along side it and hiked up the side of a mountain for 20 minutes weaving from one switch back to the next while carrying a tent, a sleeping bag and the bag with all our stuff in it. I was relived once I got to the Great Wall, thinking naively that it would get easier, only to find that the relief was a figment of my imagination and we were to trudge on up the rocks at roughly a 45 degree angle. A piece of cake!

I'm not joking around, I mean STEEP!

Not gonna lie, initially this part, which I believe was the steepest we did, intimidated me. How could it not! I was wearing my $20 keds from target, they're not exactly equipped for such terrain.
However once you're up there and you start to take in the view, you really do forget about your fatigue. The view of the mountains, as well as the wall, was spectacular and well worth the effort.

Clearly the hike took a lot out of everyone.... it was nice to see that I wasn't the only one out of breathe :) In fact, good for you China...because were I a Mongolian, I probably wouldn't have gone to the effort of breaching those walls. It was hard enough without being attacked by patrolling Chinese soldiers.

Out of breath, very out of breath

Note the awesome fake Armani hat.... China... love it!
I love not being the only one exhausted from hiking 15 minutes.
(FYI: This chick is my coworker)

After we threw down our stuff we were then told we were to hike up another 20 minutes to a vista point for the sunset. REALLY! But at least there was incentive. The tour guide brought along a bottle of wine to crack open once we reached the top. At that moment I knew I had made a sound choice in selecting this tour group in particular :)

SO PRETTY!

Once the sun had set, we went down the wall back to the van.

Nearly tumbled and rolled is more like it.

Next we went to a local farm for dinner. This was perhaps the best food I have had so far in China. You all know that when I arrived in Beijing, I was a bit Chinese-Food-Shy, to say the least. However in the past 6 weeks, after eating it about every day, I've really come to like it. Look at me growing up! And this food really was delicious. Beer and wine was also available, but I've never been so self-controlled with alcohol in my life.... call me crazy but I didn't want to get wasted THEN have to hike up the bloomin' Great Wall of China, tripping and stumbling as I go due to intoxication. Again, I'm really growing up. HA!

Mmmmmmm (never thought I'd be saying that when staring at Chinese food)

Believe it or not I was the first one up the next morning, at 6:18am. I guess it was the sun coming through the tent. OR perhaps it was the utter discomfort of sleeping on rocks! Either way, good for me getting up early and having first dibbs on coffee.

Once everyone was up and fed. Breakfast by the way, was impressive for a) China and b) camping. We had real coffee made in a french press, Chinese doughnuts (I don't really know how to describe these) and banana.

The Great Wall of China can also serve as a buffet table.

Next we hiked. And hiked, and hiked some more. The weather was great, not a cloud in the sky or a drop of rain in the air, a rarity for China this time of year. It was all good fun, be it up hill or down, stairs or slopes. The first part was the restored section of the wall. Oh and just because I refer to it as restored, is not to imply easy. By no means was the restored section any easier from the overgrown section. Well to be fair, at least the restored section didn't have weeds and saplings whipping at our legs as we walked, so there's that.

He took pictures of me... so I took pictures of him!

This is the part where the tour guide, Chandler, had to pull each of us up to the next part of the Wall because the gap was too big. He's something of a monkey, so clearly he did not need assistance. So essentially, I was hanging off the Great Wall of China by some dude named Chandler's arm.... clearly not your average day. Am I glad I don't have a fear of heights!

The group.....really really really tired at 11:30am after hiking for 4 hours. Nice!

The rest of the trip was pretty easy. We went back to the farm and ate sandwiches and then got back in the van Beijing bound. Once we arrived back in Beijing, the guide, Chandler, took us out for a complimentary "clearly you're tired and need a cold one" beer :) My kind of tour, what more can I say :)

The Great Wall of China.....Exhaustion!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vksyt1ED7uM

Tour de Beijing (at midnight)

Good news....I'M ALIVE. Not to be overly dramatic, but I was on a bike riding in whatever lane was most convenient heading in who knows what direction unable to read the street signs or see other bikers in the lane, crossing 14 lanes of traffic! Now imagine that and multiply it by 3....hahaha but I'm not being dramatic. It's ok, I made it home in the end. But note to self: getting lost biking in Southern Beijing at midnight is not fun. Fantastic, good to know. And did I mention I was on my cell phone while biking for roughly a quarter of that time? It's an under appreciated skill, the one handed biking trick, especially when there are oblivious pedestrians in the road and you can't ring your bell because that hand is holding the precious cellular device..... it's ok, I didn't hit anyone. Frankly, it would have been their fault if I had! Indeed I am catching on to how things work in this city :)

R's are HARD!

Quick note:

You know how we make fun of the Chinese for mispronouncing R's in English? Well I am made fun of for mispronoucning them in Chinese. Sick! But wow is it hard! My language partner sure is a patient man! Anyway, just something to think about. Haha I also mispronounce "zh", "u", "k" and a slew of others :)

Summer Palace Sunset.... of sorts

China sure is funny

Regarding what I mentioned earlier about the Chinese tendency to do what they want when they want to....well it doesn't matter how long I live here, I will always laugh at it. The other day, the security guard where I work was stretching in the most bizarre manner, and in doing so displaying much of his anatomy. Clearly "self-conscious" is not a word that translates into Chinese. Though that was sort of cleared up earlier when I told you about the Chinese belly display.

Just yesterday I was touring Summer Palace, a well known tourist attraction and land mark in the outskirts of Beijing, when I saw the most peculiar thing. There was a man standing and flapping his arms. He rotated his body left and right, twisting back and forth in a repetitive motion. He was doing it when I approached him and he was doing it when I left. Perhaps I would have stayed to watch and timed him, had I not been losing the light. Not to worry, I captured it on video so if I can ever figure out how to load that, I'll share. I also captured on video, the view of the golden arches from the top of one of the Buddhist Temples. Great view... old ornately painted temples and a McDonalds! "Oh beautiful for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain. For purple mountains Majesty, above the fruited plains. America! America! God shed his grace on thee, and crowned thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea!" Sorry couldn't help myself, they really drilled that into my head in elementary school. Anyway, afterwards I just had to eat at Pizza Hut. Don't get mad, a girl needs her western food every once in a while!

Please note: Pizza Hut in China is totally different from Pizza Hut in the US. (Don't get me started on the "salad bar")

Friendly Beijingers

One of the most confusing things about living in a foreign country is getting used to the difference in appearance and interaction. Be it the difference in dress and overall physical appearance (Italian men, you know what I'm talking about), the language barrier, or my favorite, Chinglish! The substitution of Chinese words for English ones really is a clever game, especially when that Chinese person has a limited vocabulary :)

The other day I was having a coffee at a local expat bookstore. It was mid afternoon and the place wasn't very busy. I was sitting alone in a corner with several open chairs and sofas to my right and left. I was reading a book about an American in Beijing, (most appropriate) when I a young Chinese woman approached me as asked if she could sit next to me. Clearly, I took no issue with it, it ain't my country! She was very chatty, very friendly and very bizarre. Were I in the United States, I'd swear she was hitting on me, but as I was in China, I had to remind myself that a) neither of us really know how to interact with each other and b) "pretty" is probably one of the 20 or so words she knows. Needless to say, I made a friend. And let's face it, being called pretty sure beats being called a white devil!

Catawhompus

Something I've noticed about China and the way in which the Chinese people go about doing things, is that they care very little for planning. If something needs to be done, they just do it. They don't think about the best place, best time, the environmental ramifications, etc....they just do it. This is their disposition for all things, ALL THINGS. This attitude is what leads them to do things like not have traffic laws, bike or drive the wrong way on a one way street (though to be fair, I now do this too), put phone booths in the middle of the side walk, not stand in line or even wait til the person in front of them is done paying, and let their babies pee anywhere. Yes, I mean anywhere! I have seen it, I care not to go into any further details. Use your imagination.

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